the I.R.Ssssssssssssss

we’re beginning to believe that the federal government has chosen to solve its many financial problems solely by focusing in on our tax returns. we no sooner settled up for the 2007 audit than our accountant informed us we were now being audited for 2008. and this one’s going to take some time. you see, we were among the multitudes who refinanced while housing assessments were at an all time high. and in san francisco, that meant big buckaroos. yahoo!, we crowed, we’re rich, we’re rich, we’re socially secure, as daffy duck once quacked.

did you know that from the IRS’s perspective, we can only consider our mortgage as a tax break based on the original purchase price, plus a teensy percent extra? now you tell us. no wonder wells fargo was salivating at the chance to send our re-fi sky high. my newest skill set is digging through musty grocery bags of receipts in an ongoing attempt to demonstrate where all our pennies have gone. i haven’t felt this violated since my dating days in college.

and we haven’t seen the accountant’s bills for his IRS tete-a-tetes yet. he’s expensive, but we trust him completely. i’ve outright confessed that we’re too afraid to find a cheaper substitute for him. that at least made him chuckle. our monetary survival will rest in his busy hands for the duration.

he’s so overworked with the audits that our unfiled 2009 return has been extended, so the bad news on that front remains a mystery. we’ve heard grumblings about prepayment miscalculations. yeah, that sounds like us.

all i can say is, don’t let this happen to you.


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