Dateline : Roma
The piazzas of Rome are lousy with shoe stores crammed with high heels and higher prices. As the unhappy and unfortunate possessor of a pair of doublewide, high arched feet that resemble a pancake thrown atop a rock, I harbored little hope of finding anything for my fat feet. Imagine my delight as I came upon an entire window arrayed with low heeled, semi-snazzy looking shoes at reasonable prices.
Wiggles: Aren’t these nice? They look like they’d fit my canoes, huh?
Hot Pants: Um, yeah. I guess nuns have wide feet.
So began my surprising conversion to Roman Catholicism. Sort of. (Don’t panic, Mah and Dad.) I just never knew the sisters had such stylish footwear choices.
My brother in law Muggins caught one whiff of the inside of this Priest & Nun Emporium and fled immediately as nine years of parochial school terror came rushing back.
Hot Pants barely contained her giggles as I ecstatically modeled and purchased a fabu pair of black leather lace-up beauties completely in step with the men’s style women’s shoes featured in all the fall fashion mags. Later on the same day her mirth subsided when she caught the price tags on the “regular” shoes her slim little Cinderella feet could easily fit into. Since today’s Sunday, and we leave tomorrow, she’d better pray there’s a nun’s shoe store in Florence.
I think my next ecclesiastical purchase is going to be a wimple. That’ll be loads cheaper than a neck lift, and, believe me, I could use one.