In breaking medical news, the Lord & Master’s internist diagnosed the pain in the L&M’s right arm as Tennis Elbow. Caused by excessive Lazyboy launches and ejections. The doc proceeded to insert a gigantic needle loaded up with cortisone into said elbow, and even managed to twist it around the joint a couple of times. The lower limbs got a working over, too. That Rx involves daily moisturizer on his legs to prevent the swollen skin from cracking, unwanted bacteria from entering, and cellulitis from flaring. His next stop is Physical Therapy where he’ll not only get exercises for the arms and legs, but will be measured for thigh-high support hose. Trust me, you won’t be seeing that in the Victoria’s Secret catalogue anytime soon.
During the medical history portion of the exam, in response to the query about any diseases running in his family, the L&M quipped, “Insanity.” To which I added, “His mother had an extreme case of longevity.”
There was a wee bit of good news. In the two years since he’s been to Kaiser, my husband has dropped 11 pounds. That’s 5.5 pounds a year. 0.45833333 pounds a month. 0.11458333 pounds a week. In another decade, he’ll be spectacular.