I noticed today – in another horrifying age-related discovery – that my earlobes are two different lengths. I look like a 3-D freak show. What am I going to do with all my post earrings? I’m screwed!
But rest assured, I know exactly why this has happened and who to point the finger at – Wiggles. And Enid. And most definitely Jeanne. That’s because of the hundreds – nay, thousands of hours that I have logged on the phone talking to these people, stretching out my left earlobe in a most Dumbo-esque manner (with all due respect to sweet, tearful Dumbo). And that was before all long-distance calls were free. So my contribution to bettering their lives (and alright, having a lot of laughs, too) is both physical and fiscal.
All I need is a hump. Then my look will be complete.