Trapped in a Love-Filled Marriage

Help! I’m trapped in a love-filled marriage. And I can’t get out.

The Lord & Master is 68 years young. As in, rarin’ to go, can’t get enough action, kiss me, hug me, do me. Again and again and again. And this is without Viagra.

What am I to do?

Frankly, it’s a bit embarrassing. You see, the L&M is a full bar mitzvah older than me, yet he’s got the libido of a bar mitzvah boy himself. It’s true that I’ve always been old before my time, but now I’ve reached that stage in life where television watching uses up most of my energy, followed by a nap. Meanwhile, my bigger half springs out of bed shortly after dawn and greets the day with a smile and a hard on.

Granted, it’s beyond flattering that my Beloved oozes affection, wants to insure my body with Lloyd’s of London, insists I’m the hottest thing on two feet. If you could see me, you’d know this means it’s True Love.

If only he’d let me grab a quick lie down. Hands off, Buster.

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