Time was, I could plop down at my computer and expose the Lord & Master’s most recent outrageous escapade. No more. Inexplicably, we have dived headlong into a giant vat of love and goodwill that, while undeniably enjoyable, leaves me without any juicy digs to aim at my Bigger Half. How could he be so cruel?
Whatever happened to the man who had a complete meltdown in a classroom of kindergarteners when we arrived at the requested hour for a kiddie performance by Sassafrass and her fellow little folk only to find it had just finished? No youngster could have thrown a finer hissy fit: yelling, throwing his arms in the air, red faced, belittling the teachers. I do believe the words “You are so stupid!” were flung about.
Whatever happened to the man who later that same day accused me of “not taking my side,” to which I replied, “The fact that you were technically right was obliterated by the way you behaved.” This made no sense to him. We proceeded to build our Home Depot garage storage shelves while mutually simmering with disdain for one another.
Whatever happened to the man who later that night refused to get on the phone and apologize to the Judaic Studies teacher, a mild mannered Israeli woman, who was still shocked by his childish and outrageous conduct?
Whatever happened to the man about whom the American born regular kindergarten teacher said to me, “So, your husband’s from New York?”
Alas, he has been secretly replaced by a kind, quiet, thoughtful, romantic spouse. How dare he. This is not the man I married.
Now what am I going to blog about?