Konspicuous Konsumption

Am I the only one who’s kringing over the fact that famous-for-being-famous Kim Kardashian turned a profit on her wedding? Honest to Khrist, millions flowed directly into her pocketbook for her over the top nuptials.

We all know that celebrities are pelted with freebies, swag, favors. I konsider this fevered worship of celebs in general and Kim & Ko. & her “reality” kohorts in particular one of the genuine signs of the Decline and Fall of the American Empire. Or the Apokalypse, if you believe in such kraziness.

At least Megan Fox has to memorize some lines once in a while to justify her piles of krap.

But the K. girls are konstantly in our face for no reason at all. A glance at any episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” or its offshoots usually features them either frolicking in bikinis or sitting around their luxe digs eating takeout directly from its kartons. While whining in their awful nasal voices. About nothing.

For krying out loud, their father was a lawyer. As in, he went to college and graduate school.

Would I want Sassafrass to konsider Kim a role model? I shudder at the notion. Money is only money.

Still, that Kash Sweepstakes Wedding sticks in my kraw. How very, very krass.

Note how they're hoarding the wedding pix for the inevitable E! Special.


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