An Open Letter to Susie Fogelson at the Food Network

Dear Ms. Fogelson,

May I call you Susie?

Suze, this letter is to inform you and your network that I will no longer be watching the Next Food Network Star.

Yeah, you should look unhappy, lady.

Watching you and your fellow judges select a man who make sandwiches, and only sandwiches, put the kibosh on my caring about any new shows you’re dishing up. As you gushed that you couldn’t wait to market his tag line that every meal can be a sandwich and every sandwich can be a meal, my heart sank.

A ten year old can make sandwiches. Nobody needs instruction, Jeff.

There stood sweet Susie Jimenez, ready to teach America to make Mexican home cooking, as runner up to some boob who’s one method of “cooking” is to slap stuff between two pieces of bread. As if it’s new or different or unknown to the population.

Shame, shame, shame.

And further shame for the inordinate amount of time spent garnering the opinions of Penny, the self styled Middle Eastern Mama, who clearly loathes other women. Even the judges saw her slow down while presumably “helping” Mary Beth during the Iron Chef challenge. Were you Jews so terrified of offending her that you leaned over backwards to solicit her ignorant comments?

Middle Eastern Monster

You claim to care deeply about the personal backgrounds of your contestants. You urge them to bare their emotional selves on camera. Which, by the way, Susie Jimenez did, to spectacular effect, as the daughter of migrant Mexican field workers. So, why is it, I wonder, I’ve never heard Bobby Flay mention a single thing about his personal life on Throwdown?

This food smells great. Maybe I should mention that my parents didn't own a barbeque when I was growing up. Nah.

I’m even considering not watching Chopped, just about the only show left on the “Food” Network that’s about the food.

By the way, I would have sent this screed to Bob Tuschman, but I assume he’s away having plastic surgery to repair his wayward jaw.


5 responses to “An Open Letter to Susie Fogelson at the Food Network

  1. I’m leaving myself a comment because (1) I’m insane and (b) I want everyone to see my new avatar, courtesy of one talented nephew known as Max Caploe. Thanx, Max!

  2. ladies!
    i couldn’t agree more. but i only watch gordon ramsey’s hell’s kitchen because he can yell at subordinates and then rip their white jackets off their back before booting them off the show. if only i could do the same….

  3. Golly, Ms. Fogelson sure has an effect on people! I never knew. I wonder if she knows. And I quite agree with Sosterstrom that the slurs are unnecesary. And, frankly, lazy.
    Meanwhile, I promise to post soon about my absolute delight in Justin’s win this go-round. Nothing satisfies quite like an outsider hitting his stride at just the right time & place.

  4. Again…….. I agree with wiggles!!! Can’t wait to see what Justin has up his sleeve!!! We need more interesting chefs on this channel………..

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