What’s Your Jewish Zodiak Sign?

My friend Nancy sent this to me and I thought it was such a riot I am posting it. Thanks, Nance!

 

CHICKEN SOUP

Born the year of: 1907, 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003 You’re a healer, nourishing all whom you encounter. We feel better just being in your presence. Mothers want to bring you home to meet their children: resist his at all costs. Compatible with Bagel and Knish.

EGG CREAM

1908, 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004 You’ve got a devious personality since you’re made with neither eggs nor cream. Friends find your pranks refreshing; others think you’re too frothy. Compatible with Blintz, who also has something to hide.

CHOPPED LIVER

1909, 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005 People either love you or hate you, making you wonder “what am I, chopped liver?” But don’t get a complex; you’re always welcome at the holidays! Bagel’s got your backside.

BLINTZ

1910, 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006 Creamy and dreamy, you’re rightfully cautious to travel in pairs. You play it coy but word is with the right topping you turnover morning, noon and night. Compatible with Schmear.

LATKE

1911, 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007 Working class with a grating exterior, you’re a real softie on the inside. Kind of plain naked but when dressed up you’re a real dish. Compatible with Schmear’s cousin Sour Cream.

BAGEL

1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008 You’re pliable and always bounce back, although you feel something’s missing in your center. If this persists, get some therapy.Compatible with Schmear and Lox. Latke and Knish, not so much.

PICKLE

1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009 You’re the perfect sidekick: friends love your salty wit and snappy banter but you never overshadow them. That shows genuine seasoning from when you were a cucumber. Marry Pastrami later in life.

SCHMEAR

1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010 You blend well with others but often spread yourself too thin. A smooth operator, you could use some spicing up now and then. Compatible with Bagel and Lox. Avoid Pastrami – wouldn’t be kosher.

PASTRAMI

1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011 Brisket’s hipper sibling, always smokin’ and ready to party. You spice up life even if you keep your parents up at night. Compatible with Pickle, who’s always by your side.

BLACK AND WHITE ICE CREAM SODA

1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012 Kids love you but make up your mind! Are you black or white? Cake or cookie? You say you’re “New Age,” all yin & yang. We call it “bi-polar.” Sweetie, you’re most compatible with yourself.

KNISH

1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013 Flaky on the surface, you’re actually a person of depth and substance. Consider Medical or Law School but don’t get too wrapped up in yourself. Compatible with Pickle. Avoid Lox, who’s out of your league.

LOX

1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014 Thin and rich, you’re very high maintenance: all you want to do is bask in the heat getting some color. Consider retiring to Boca. Compatible with Bagel and Schmear although you top them both.

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