After three rounds of acupuncture and still in pain, I took myself to a back specialist who sent me for an MRI. Now, I know that people talk about how MRI’s are freaky….but because I was in such agony I didn’t blink (because it hurt too much) when he made an appointment for me at a facility that same day.
As soon as I saw the machine I knew I was in trouble. The technician showed me how far I’d be slid into the maw. But then he plopped some headphones on me, left the room, and slid me much deeper into the machine while I yelled helplessly, ‘HOW MUCH FURTHER? HAROLD, HOW MUCH FURTHER???”
No response. It was terrifying, my friends.
When I left I called my friend Laura, a veteran of back problems and more than one MRI. She answered her phone while enjoying a glass of something alcoholic. “I know, terrible, right?” she said, while I whimpered. “Next time, we’ll make sure you have a Xanax beforehand.”
One xanax? How about 100?
Meanwhile, I have a bulging disk. I need physical therapy. No problem! As long as it doesn’t involve an MRI, I’ll be a good girl and do whatever the doctor says.