Off I happily toodled to work feeling terribly pretty (for a middle aged lady). By day’s end, my ass was dragging from the weight of my multiple wrong moves.
Mistake No. 1: I erroneously bundled together items that should have been treated separately. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? But the thing is, I cost The Boss 30 days holding time on monies that could have been in the company pocket a month earlier. Okay, not fatal. Especially since I made this boo-boo a month ago, when I presumably knew a lot less than I do now.
Mistake No. 2: I purchased fake silver dollars. There. I said it.
In the same lot with one real one, I blithely paid out good old U.S. cash for fakes too shiny and too lightweight to fool my employer. Now, he wasn’t working this past weekend when I did it, and the higher ups with whom I consulted also failed to catch my flub (not that I blame them for my faux pas). Still, that’s money we’ll never get back, even though I offered to pony up. The Boss is too much the gentleman to take me up on that.
Mistake No. 3: I cringe even as I write this. Not only did I comingle coinage of varying worth (half dollars, quarters, and dimes), but much, much worse, I bought almost $3. of quarters without silver content. You know how you can look at the side of a contemporary quarter and see all the copper in it? To my dismay, disgust, and disgrace, I neglected to weed out these offending items from a large batch of change.
Dang it all, that’s a rookie mistake beneath even me.
And get this: The Boss didn’t even know I did it. I discovered this gaffe while sorting the different denominations. Like the Girl Scout I was – and I guess I always will be – I dutifully confessed my sins to him. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.
“Jesus Christ, Wiggles,” he moaned as my goofs piled up. I don’t blame him. My internal chastisement was much coarser and extensive.
Details, details. How did I, a dreamy generalist, end up charged with dotting i’s and crossing t’s?
At least I look good while I’m misstepping all over the shop. That’s what counts, right?