What Is Proper Office Etiquette For Passing Gas?

Just acting innocent.

I’m a very, very gassy gal. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s those Weight Watcher treats full of healthy goodness. Maybe it’s all the air I swallow while gulping down tons of water.

All I know is, there I am, at work, desperately trying not to offend.

Rule No. 1:  Try to be with at least two other coworkers. That way no one’s sure – but you – who cut the cheese.

What's that old saying? "She who smelt it, dealt it."

Rule No. 2:  Scurry off to the loo as fast as your cankles can carry you. At least there’s a fan in there.

That's just being smart about it, Wiggles!

Rule No. 3:  Accept your fate. Yeah, I’m prone to intestinal eruptions. It’s embarrassing. I don’t have a private office (other than the Communal Can), unlike Hot Pants, NYC Editrix. So, sooner or later, I’m gonna do something foul. Just like at the supermarket today when I thought I was the only one in the aisle…and only saw my fellow shopper when it was too late.

Sorry.

It's not easy being brown. Or is it tan? Beige? Transparent?

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