Whoever Invented Elastic Waist Pants Should Win the Nobel Prize

Seriously. I hereby decree that the unfortunately unheralded Clothing God Genius who invented the modern elastic waistband deserves unlimited acclaim. Zippers? Buttons? Burning red indentations along the tummy? Why, why, why?

My latest pair in my favorite color: pukey green.

I feel so sorry for my husband, The Lord & Master, whose only elastic waists are on his “at home” leisure duds. Watching him straightjacket himself into the zipper/button/belt/belted suspenders monstrosity that is his regular slacks makes me wince. That male corset system is but a bygone relic of the era of suits, hats, and gloves for all.

Why, Miss Hot Pants, do you shudder at the thought of my wardrobe favorite, the supremely comfortable, forgiving, soft, dare I say gentle, elastic waist pants? Sure, when I was a 107 pound weakling Pretty Young Thing, I, too, happily zipped up into all sorts of lovely tailored ensembles.

But this is fast advancing Old Age, Babycakes, and attention must be paid. To easy pants. To weightless shoes. To life. Or, what’s left of it.

I'll have you know, H.P., someone said these are dead ringers for a Prada pair. HA!


3 responses to “Whoever Invented Elastic Waist Pants Should Win the Nobel Prize

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