“Sniff Me!” She Said

You all know how much I love my Pancake, she of the extravagant morning kisses and 3am poops. I mean, how could you NOT love that? But she does have one habit that I am becoming increasingly more concerned about: and that is the fact that she rolls over and lifts her leg EVERY TIME she meets another dog. People usually laugh nervously while their dog goes to town on Pancake, who just lies there with her head on the sidewalk like she’s at the gynecologist office and has already fulfilled her deductible. One owner cheerfully said to me, “Wow, what a slut!” as she nodded with approval.

After ten to fifteen seconds (which is an excruciatingly long period in Dog Time), Pancake gets up and smells the other dog’s ass. Unfortunately, by this time both the dog and the owner have often lost interest, which means that my little girl has GIVEN IT AWAY FOR FREE once again. Sometimes we trot after them for another go, but it doesn’t usually work. I have tried to explain to the `Cake that there are other ways to make friends, but she pays me no mind. She just lowers her lashes and looks divine. Then she’s off to find her next bus-stop beau.


The Florence Frolic

That’s what we’ve been doing ever since arriving in Florence earlier today.

I am happy to report that our room in Florence makes up in size and grandeur for our room in Rome. It is gigantic, has a table and chairs in the center, and an extra room for what will presumably be our dozens of purchases while we’re here. Wiggles walked in, saw our set-up, and immediately stamped her feet. Then the L&M chimed in: “Do we have a refrigerator, Wiggles?” he asked. (and woe to Wiggs if he didn’t). He and Wiggs hot-footed it back to their room and thank God, they do. 

And speaking of hot, though we were told it’d be a good 10 degrees cooler here than in  Rome, I took one look at the hot Florence sun and headed over to the stalls to buy some sandals. My tootsies just couldn’t take it. Now I am cool and writing to you from a slightly scary Internet cafe where there are many emotional and foreign tongues swirling all around me – most of them spoken directly to their computer screen. So if something happens to me, please give Sassy my new red sandals. I think she’ll like them.

Pasta is the Devil

Well, less than 24 hours into our Italian jaunt, I have sampled no fewer than four super-rich pasta dishes. I think my favorite involved brandy, lobster, cream, and tomato. Something tells me I’m going to have quite the surprise when next I waddle atop a Weight Watchers scale.

Between downing sublime meals and the Roman heat, my rings have officially jumped over one finger to the left. I’m pudged up, America. Deal with it.

A Piccola Room in Rome

so i am here posting in an italian exchange store that has internet while wiggles sits next to me soaking up some free wi-fi writing her own post. oy, are we techn0-not-so-savvy! we could not post the 1st 24 hours because, as you can imagine, we were so freakin’ tired. we got into our room and pretty much went right to sleep. it wasn’t till i woke up this morning that i saw how incredibly small our room is. this made me think about the last time muggins and i were in rome. We joked that they built the room around the bed, as there was so little space that we had to crawl over each other to get to the bathroom, or hell, just to put on some shoes! this room was clearly designed by the same architect, with a budget of 5 more dollars. or should i say, 5 more euros. we’re still basically crawling all over each other tho the bathroom is a scitch bigger.

as for the art, well, we went to the villa borghese this morning. it was gorgeous but all on one subject. and you KNOW the subject i mean. all i could think afterwards was, “wow. i want some gelato!” can you say picola fragola?

Art, Shmart. Let’s Eat!

In anticipation of our trip, Muggins and I decided to buy tickets ahead of time to the Ufizzi in Florence and the Villa Borghese in Rome, to avoid the lines. I asked Wiggles, et al, if we should buy tickets for them, too. She had a quick conference with the L&M and came back the next day with her response: NO. It’s only some of the greatest art in the world, guys, but okay.

Meanwhile, Wiggles was all over supplying her credit card number so we could secure some dinner reservations in Venice.  Well, at least I know I’ll be back at Dress Barn on my return home.

i’ve still got it!

i was on a selfless errand today, going to see a friend in the hospital, and i caught sight of something in the window of a store. no, it wasn’t a cute little red top i had to have. nor was it a rotisserie chicken that i thought might be good for dinner. i am sorry to tell you, my friends, that it was my silhouette, which looked shockingly similar to that pig without pants, Porky. yeah, Porky. i know i wrote a few weeks ago about my thighs, but this was a new level of “oh, my god, i cannot believe i am out on the street looking like this!” it made me think of a blog that i have been reading, called www.formerlyhot.com, which is about what it’s like to be an inch on the other side of young. i think that suits me to a tee these days, because while i know i am not in my 20s any more (or my 30s, let’s face it), i still want to look attractive, and this was a real eye-opener. and yet. and yet – i care much less about what people think of how i look than i used to, and that’s a pleasure. so i decided not to worry so much. instead, i tossed my hair, bought an iced coffee, and continued my trip to the hospital. when i got into the elevator, a woman said to me, “I love your blouse. it makes you look so happy!”  you know how that made me feel? currently hot.